“I am a young lady, and I have a strong fear of men. I feel fear and hatred and that I am weak when I deal with a man, and this is reflected in my way of speaking and behaving. I feel that all this is because I was harassed in the past, until now when I am subjected to verbal harassment, I cannot respond, I just shut up and My experience was bitter, when I was young, I did not understand what was happening, and I did not know what was wrong or forbidden, and when I grew up, I had a phobia of men because of everything that happened to me. You have my back and my support. My confidence is gone and I feel very weak.”

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Dear Reader, We are very sorry for what you have been through and the bitter experience that you have had in the past and still affects your life. The fear you experience towards men is understandable and justified. In fact, there is what is known in psychology as “androphobia”, and the term means “masculophobia”. It results from exposure to a painful experience with a male in childhood, and this includes child abuse, bullying and harassment. Therefore, you may feel anxiety or fear when you are near males in public places or at work. According to the American Academic Medical Center “Cleveland Clinic”, this condition can be overcome with the help of a psychologist and with the help of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Dr. Azza Zayan, a family relations consultant, says that what makes the matter worse is that you were not able to enlist the support of your family and help them in facing what you are suffering, for fear of their reaction or their lying to you, and they also failed to play their role in protecting you and making sure that you are with safe people, Noticing that you are suffering and changing, just as they failed in their educational role, as you mentioned in your letter, and you did not know what is wrong or forbidden, although it is the role of every mother to know her daughter and make her aware of the limits of her body, the importance of respecting it, and how to confront those who cross the red lines with her.

And she adds: You indicated in the letter that you still face the problem of harassment from time to time, and you will not be able to overcome this fear of yours if you continue to remain silent. Transportation Be sure to choose safer places in transportation and safe times. And you have to tell your family about what you have been exposed to if they did not know about it, because many parents are willing to support, but they do not know that the problem has occurred in the first place.

In order to boost your self-confidence, you have to strengthen your personality by learning a new language, continuing your studies, or learning a new skill to help you form your personality. There are also courses that help in enhancing self-confidence and help in improving your dealings with others, and there are courses in dealing with the opposite sex. It is also useful not to put yourself in situations that reinforce your fear of men, such as being with them in closed places or allowing someone to cross your personal boundaries.