“I am a thirty-eight-year-old young woman, I graduated from the Faculty of Education. My problem is that I suffer from a loss of confidence in myself since my childhood. They used to say, “Soda,” because I am the only one of my brothers with dark skin. Sarcasm and criticism.

I was a liar all the time in order to please my friends because I was afraid of losing them, and when I went to university I didn’t have any emotional experiences because I was implanted in me with a belief that I was ugly and that if I got attached to someone he would leave me.

Unfortunately, I got to know many, and they all made an effort to catch my eye, and after we spoke and confessed his love, he left me after a month. This bitter experience was repeated more than once and left him dozens of questions and a lot of confusion. I completely lost faith in everything. I even worked in a field unrelated to my studies to be away from people.

The feeling of failure haunts me and I become depressed and do not sleep easily, and work for me is just time I spend and a source of income, but what makes me really happy is when I gather from time to time some students and study for them for free. Can I ever change and feel confident in myself?”

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Dear reader, the most important thing that parents give us is unconditional love, acceptance and support, which gives us the healthy dose of trust and love that helps us see the beauty in ourselves and love ourselves. Unfortunately, you missed it, and instead of getting unconditional love and acceptance, you were getting criticized and bullied.

Unfortunately, the mistake your family made is a recurring mistake made by many, and it reflects a lack of awareness that the standards of beauty are diverse and comprehensive and are not limited to a specific shape or color. What you were exposed to from the family is known as outward suggestion, which sent a message to your mind that you do not deserve love because you are not beautiful enough, and therefore when some made efforts to get close to you, you were not confident within you that you deserved love, you expected that they would withdraw and retreat from association with you. In what is known as autosuggestion, somehow your thoughts lead you to the exact outcome you expected. What happened in the past was your family’s responsibility, but what happens now should be your responsibility. It’s great that you pinpoint the exact location of the pain, and that cuts half the way to treatment.

Dr. Samar Kishk, a mental health specialist and family counselor, says that exposure to emotional disappointments is something that happens with everyone, and it is very likely that emotional relationships may not be completed. But it is very important not to allow others to define your self-image and control your confidence level. Each of us has something inside that distinguishes him and is good at it, and you already knew what you are good at and what you love, which is to teach children for free.

It is important to regain your self-confidence to feel your value and your advantages. It may help you to sit down with yourself and objectively specify on the paper the things that you excel in and that you are good at. It is also helpful to write down at the end of each day 3 reasons why you feel grateful for yourself during the day, whatever the reason may be, it may be as simple as getting to work on time without delay because this reflects that you are a disciplined person who respects deadlines, the reason you are grateful to yourself may be that you You have been able to get out of an annoying situation or have conquered your fear of anything.

It is also important that you do a job that you love as much as possible. It is also important to believe from within that you are beautiful and surely God created you to leave an imprint in life, as God did not create anything in vain.

Before waiting for love, you must give it to yourself, and trust from within that you deserve love and that you will be blessed with someone who will compensate you for the past and will know well your advantages and value, but it is important to know it first and impose on everyone your feeling of confidence and that you are beautiful and special.