“I am a 21-year-old girl who was engaged to a 26-year-old man in salons, who knew my father well through his work, and unfortunately I did not have any positive feelings for him and did not feel psychological harmony with him, despite his good treatment of me at the beginning of the engagement , where he was carrying gifts with him and wooed me, but I did not meet his feelings with interest and appreciation at first, especially when they were not honest with us and lied to us about the marriage apartment, as they told us that they own an apartment in the same building in which they live, and therefore they rushed to my engagement with a network of 8 thousand pounds , which is a very small amount, although his mother is financially able, and she could have helped us besides that he works “Sales” in a brand store, but he was always complaining about his work conditions and he always asked me to bear the circumstances with him, especially after his father’s death and his feelings of loss and sadness , Knowing that when I was going out with him, my mother used to come with us and she was the one who paid for every outing, I started to feel upset and decided to break off the engagement because I did not like him and did not feel any affection towards him, then I quickly retracted my decision and returned to him again, and this time My treatment with him improved, but he is no longer the same as it was before, but is worse and more cautious than before, and I learned that during the period when some of us left, he met one of his female colleagues in the shop, in which he was promoted to become a manager..

“And my problem started when I went back to him again to find from him a change in his nature, as I asked him to wait for me after every exam, but he only came once on the pretext that he was feeling tired, so I decided not to call him again and moved away from him for a whole month, until my last day of exams came. Because of my mother’s concern about me, she called him to come and take me from the exam, and on this day he noticed that there was no ring in my hand and he did not hang up, and on the same day he came home and was angry and the discussion between me and him heated up and he told me a text (AI remember that you are the only one who understands and all people do not understand) And frankly, this response made me lose my balance and became intolerant of him, and I told him (You are sitting in our house) He threatened me to break off the engagement and told me (I will leave you and I do not want you) And he said to my mother: (Your daughter wants two pens) Besides, he was always comparing me to this girl who works with him, with no interest in giving me any gifts, To be surprised at the end of his mother’s call to end the engagement and to ban me and my family from his Facebook page, and on the same day he recovered his network, I saw him with a girl out with her from work, holding her hand. This scene shocked me and caused me great sadness, but I hope to come back to him again Despite its negative impact on my academic future and my relatives’ advice to stay away from it.”.

We conveyed the problem to Dr. Reham Abdel Rahman, “The courtship period is one of the most important periods in the life of the relationship between the two parties, because it is the period of acquaintance and harmony resulting from spiritual compatibility and attraction to the other party, which is something that you were missing at the beginning of the relationship, however, despite your internal rejection and lack of interest in it along with their lack of commitment. In the matter of the apartment, as you mentioned in your letter, but you decided to continue this relationship, which is the first mistake you made against yourself. For the engagement to be a successful relationship, it was necessary to have honesty, acceptance and spiritual compatibility between you for this relationship to continue..

And she continued: “The other mistake for not continuing this relationship is waiting for his mother to share with him the cost of the network, and here you should have known that your fiancé’s financial liability is separate from his mother, and therefore it is not obligatory for her to participate, but rather he must bear the full responsibility, whether in the cost of the network or Go out with you, or else he won’t get married.”

And she continued, “The other mistake is your internal rejection of the other party and your lack of psychological conviction in him and his circumstances, which have become well-defined, knowing that he was emotionally associated with another girl, who discovered that he was still in a relationship with her, and here you had to retract your feelings and end this relationship, and to be honest with you both of you are wrong in The right of the other; because both of you are still in the prime of life, you are not over 21 years old, and this experience, although painful, is an opportunity that will teach you that your fiancé is not necessarily a bad-tempered man, but sometimes we are the ones who make mistakes in the right of ourselves when we continue to choose, we do not feel With him, we give him the remnants of feelings, relying on the guarantee of existence, and when this thing leaves us, we search for it again, and then we are surprised that it is no longer among our possessions!.

She says, “I see in your relationship a lack of mental and emotional maturity, in addition to the lack of respect in the relationship between you, which is an important pillar of the continuation of human relations. It is not appropriate for him to talk to your mother in this way, and it is also not appropriate for what you felt in your letter of equality and his attempt to provoke him to divorce him.” The ring is as you mentioned and stay away from it for a whole month.

She says, “You are still young and life is in front of you, and these feelings may not be true love, but because you felt that there was another girl in his life and nothing more, and if he returned to you, these feelings would soon evaporate .. I just advise you to make a good choice, stick to those who are sincere in their feelings with you, and relate to them.” Who is equivalent to you financially, while avoiding thinking about the past and being preoccupied with your academic achievement.. God will surely compensate you with the best.”

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