“I want to know your opinion about something. I am divorced and related to a divorced woman, and we got to know each other through a mediator, that is, not about a previous love or something. The important thing is that I and she, thank God, are good together, and chemistry exists between us, but since I got to know her, she stipulates material conditions that I do not compromise on, so I asked That the backside is an exaggerated number for me (100,000 pounds) and most importantly, she asked me to sell my apartment and buy somewhere else, and that there be no engagement ceremony or even an opening ceremony, except when my apartment is sold and another one we have agreed upon. This is on the pretext that it is necessary to change the threshold and the place has painful memories and so on, and unfortunately I have not found anyone to buy my apartment, and I am looking for a buyer and I have not found so far and time is running out, so does she have the right to these requests and stipulations in this way for marriage?”

We transferred the problem to Dr. “Reham Abdel Rahman”, a researcher in mental health and a family consultant, who said: “First of all, psychological and spiritual connection is not based only on love, because the balance of love in the hearts is subject to increase and decrease, and love quickly fades with the difficult turns of life and with the insincerity of feelings. And its clarity from the beginning, and also through your words in which you mentioned the availability of the element of spiritual compatibility between you, which is one of the important foundations on which a happy married life is built, especially since this woman is clearly out of a previous relationship in which she did not find psychological and material security, which made her stipulate these conditions for you. And here she should not have built her next life on the wreckage of a previous relationship that caused her to lack confidence and desire to secure herself at the expense of your circumstances, especially since, as you mentioned, there is an understanding between you, but what should be wary of is entering the relationship into the stage of conditional love.

And she continued, “I think that the best of things is the medium. As for the amount of the back end, it is the right of the wife over her husband, but without exaggeration on the part of the wife, and also that the intention in it is not to be urgent in the sense of its entitlement immediately after marriage so that you do not burden yourself beyond her capacity. Also, the woman has the right to participate in Choosing the marital residence in which you feel psychological comfort, and you should know that most wives do not like to share places with their husbands they have previously lived in with another woman out of jealousy, but I think that it is arbitrary for her to ask you to sell it and replace it with another apartment as long as this apartment is available in it All the comfortable means of living. It is possible to change the furniture, for example, or move to another apartment if this apartment is in a random area, but all this is done by mutual consent between the two parties and not by overloading the other party.

And she continued, “I advise you to reduce the amount of the backside, and to discuss with her about the issue of the marital apartment, especially since the woman thinks in an emotional way and sometimes expands in future wishes and dreams, and from here begins the emotional participation that each party puts himself in the position of the other party, so that he does not bear what he cannot bear, so love becomes conditional.”