“Is it love that there is no love except with petting and empty talk?” As a shot, his question exploded, causing a lot of annoyance, anger, frustration and bewilderment, as he said: “I married for love 15 years ago, in recent years I have become very nervous with my wife, and she is. We are always stubborn and each of us denies that we are wrong. You make me feel short because I don’t say “sweet words and don’t bring gifts”.

She takes every opportunity to remind me of that. In front of friends or relatives, and even when we watch TV, she comments hiddenly sometimes and directly at other times that she is not lucky, like the women whose husbands surprise them with “waving gifts” and romantic banners and flowers. Drinking, school expenses, etc., and in the end you make me feel short!”

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Dear reader, despite your agitation and anger, which I fully understand, you have enough awareness and emotional intelligence to realize that there is another reason behind your stubbornness and nervousness. You know that behind your nervousness is your annoyance at being accused of negligence. Than she does not understand the language of your love. And she does not understand that your devotion and devotion of your life and all your effort to the comfort of your family is also a language of love. But on the other hand, we have to understand her too, because she too is trying to introduce you to her love language and express her needs. Perhaps you do it with sarcasm to get over the sensitivity we all have to talking about our feelings and emotional needs clearly.

You have already come halfway to realizing the reason behind your nervousness and irritability. Dr. Azza Zayan, a family relations consultant, says that this nervousness is behind the failure to meet the needs of one of the sides of the box of urgent basic needs for both of you, which includes respect, attention, trust and intimacy. Both of you bear pressures about which the other party does not know anything and therefore does not appreciate, ranging from the great pressures of managing and taking charge of the family, to even pressures that are not related to either of you, such as crowding in the streets. As a result of not sharing pressure with each other and feeling that each other does not appreciate what he suffers, this results in stubbornness, lack of appreciation and lack of interest.

In this problem you are both right, love is not only really romantic talk, but verbal expression and gifts are also from the five primary love languages. And when she says she needs the “sweet talk,” it doesn’t just mean romantic words that might not be your love language, but it also means supportive, encouraging words. Words such as “I love the way you raise our children, thank you, you acted right” when you say them honestly, this is a verbal expression of love. As for gifts, they are no matter how simple they are, expressing appreciation and reconciling hearts.

Physical touch does not mean intimate relationship only, but the simplest forms of touch, even if a pat on the shoulder, a stroking on the hair, a kiss or a hug, are all forms of expression of love. Finally, it is necessary that you devote time to each other in which you communicate away from problems and away from tension and attraction. It is enough for up to half an hour before bed, in which you chat as lovers about anything, and you will find that you have become closer to each other and are able to accommodate and understand each other.

Within the framework of the “Seventh Day” keenness to communicate directly with readers, and to provide various and various services, “The Seventh Day” launched the “Washwasha” service to receive any inquiries or psychological, social or educational problems, provided that the problems are presented to experts and trusted specialists and publish responses via Website and newspaper.

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