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Khidmah and Shusha: “They have been engaged for 7 years, but he never made me feel that I was a girl.”

Amman Today

publish date 1970-01-01 03:00:00

“It is normal that my fiancé does not express his love to him and say what kind of love did we take?” With bewildered words and wounded dignity, she said, “I have been engaged for 7 years about the love of her fiancé, saying: A very respectable person and a real man, and he is serious in our relationship, but I suffer from a problem whenever I talk to him about her, he makes fun of me, he does not tell me any “sweet words” even the word “I love you.” I do not hear it from him, so that he does not make me feel that I am beautiful in his eyes, all people say that actions are more important than words, but words are required, such as a cake that we decorate with cream or chocolate, and it becomes sweeter. “He never made me feel that I was a girl.” When I initiate romantic words, he sometimes responds and suffices to reply, “Me too,” and sometimes he makes fun of me and says, “What kind of love did we take?”

I do not deny that our lives are full of problems and we face many obstacles to consummate marriage, but is this normal? He always justifies that he is not good at romantic talk, but during the period of our engagement there was a betrayal and I discovered it and I read his words with another girl and it hurt me that he was telling her the words I wish I could hear from him! Is this normal? Or should I reconsider this relationship?

*****

Dear reader, your letter exudes bewilderment, pain and doubt, not only in the love of your fiancé, but even in your femininity and beauty. This doubt is painful, and the denial of the verbal expression of love is painful as well. I agree with you that words are as important as actions, even plants themselves are affected by sweet words and expressions of love, so they flourish and grow more. We only knew about your story some of the headlines and details that you own alone, so we can only ask you some possibilities and scenarios that can explain your fiancé’s actions, and that may help you determine the cause of the problem. The length of courtship may be one of the important reasons for this, because it causes boredom, and some men think that the time for romance is over, he may be right, and romance is not from his nature, but he needed it and changed himself at first to attract you, and when the stage of attraction and admiration ended, he returned to his nature.

She points out that the courtship period is a formal rehabilitation period for marital life, so it is normal for something positive to appear during this period, which increases our admiration for the other party, what is negative and we can live with it, and what is negative and we cannot coexist with it. So if that’s his nature, you have to decide, can you handle it or not? And you should know that every relationship has its pros and cons, and each side has its drawbacks and advantages.

The change may have occurred because seven years is a long time and it is normal for his personality to change during that time. If you were engaged and he is in his twenties he may be in his thirties now and become more mature and more sober in expressing his feelings and considers romance as indiscretion. During these years, he also came into contact with a lot of experiences, relationships and experiences, and thus his personality changed.

The other possibility is that the reason for your change is, you may have changed and become bolder given the length of your relationship, he sees that he no longer needs to encourage you with romantic words, you may have become more urgent in asking for love and feelings and this bothers him or does not give him the opportunity to feel that he needs love and romance.

It is also important not to underestimate the fact that there are problems and obstacles in front of you, as some men when they are under pressure completely forget about romance and fall into the problem and these problems may make him more anxious about completing your marriage and trying to control his feelings and limit them.

If these possibilities help you discover the cause of the change and you find that you can fix it, that is fine. The shortest way is always confrontation. You can open a calm and transparent dialogue with him and tell him everything you feel without accusations or blame, and ask him clearly why he changed and does he still have feelings for you Or not and does he want to end the relationship quietly? You need to reassure him that you are willing to listen without judgment, accusations, or emotion. It is also important that you never blame yourself, do not beat yourself up about him, and do not feel that this is your fault or your fault. This is a problem facing the relationship and you both have to put up with it and treat it together.


Woosha service

Within the framework of the “Seventh Day” keenness to communicate directly with readers, and to provide various and various services, “The Seventh Day” launched the “Washwasha” service to receive any inquiries or psychological, social or educational problems, provided that the problems are presented to experts and trusted specialists and publish responses via Website and newspaper.

You can contact us through WhatsApp number 01284142493 or e-mail Washwasha@youm7.com or direct link.

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Source : اخبار الاردن

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