A high school student who has a lower grade than expected and therefore will not help him to enroll in the college he has dreamed of for so many years, lives in a state of anxiety, tension, and pressure from parents who remind him from time to time, that he could have obtained a higher degree than this or they complicate A comparison between him and his relatives or neighbors, which makes the student in a state of sadness and despair.

Dr. Ali Al-Qatt, a consultant in psychiatry and child and adolescent psychiatry, spoke to “Youm Seven” about the impact of parents blaming their children when they get lower grades, saying: “The final total that the student obtained is the result of his efforts, and the role of parents is not to assess the level of their children, or Determining their capabilities or even deciding their fate. Parents should also get rid of some concepts such as top colleges and that the student’s obtaining a large total means joining a certain college, because this makes the student see that his value is summed up in the degrees he obtained, and he finds that his life is a set of images socially drawn by his family.

A mother relieves her daughter’s grief

He added: “If the student does not obtain the total that he and his family dream of, his thoughts become between failure and negative thoughts that come to him automatically and come distorted and false, and he tells himself that he is a failure and that he will fail in the future as well, and here he generalizes the experience and enters a stage of self-blame and flogging. The self and may lead him to not adapt or depression and think about harming himself, as he sees that the family’s rejection of its result is a rejection of him, and some expressions of blaming parents and pressure on him, increases pressure on the student and increases his feeling of guilt, just as some parents forget to congratulate their children With their success because they are not liked, it increases their negative feelings and makes them feel sad and depressed.”

A mother is talking to her mother

The consultant psychiatrist advised the parents, saying: “Parents should understand the way their children think and accordingly they can determine the ways to deal with them, while embracing the son and daughter, whatever the result, so that they send them their feelings free of blame, blame and veto, and they should ask a question to their son, which is “You” What do I feel now?”, and they let him express his feelings without trying to advise him or blame him, but they should feel their joy in him and that they carry him unconditional love, and they ask him for his chance to calm down, and then they talk to him and share their experiences with mentioning many models that were able to achieve success in various fields, and all this helps the student to overcome his crisis and develop a new plan for his future.”