publish date 1970-01-01 03:00:00
“I have been married for 23 years, I am 50 years old now. I have a boy and a girl in college and high school. My life seems to be fine, my husband is pretty much a good person with me in everything but he is hard-hearted. He never cursed me and never hit me but my life with him is quite dry and bleak. I never dreamed of a romantic love story as we see it in the movies, but I have always dreamed of a tender-hearted husband I don’t take lightly. I dreamed of sitting with him on the balcony at night, chatting together about everything, that he would hear me and pamper me. That he misses me and I feel important in his life, I wish I I feel like he even sees me.He is always ignoring me and we don’t talk because he’s always busy on his phone, and if there is a small disagreement between us, he fights me for a week or even 10 days and maybe more, he doesn’t talk unless I start to blame and then we reconcile.
Our lives are dry and devoid of any entertainment from the day we got married, we’ve never gone to the summer, and we’ve never gone outside. Although I ask him to, but he does not respond, I do not insist on him for fear of making trouble.
Sometimes I feel that I am used to this bleak life, but sometimes I dream that I will find a solution or change, especially because I began to suffer from heart problems and pressure due to the pressures of work and taking care of my mother, who has Alzheimer’s disease, from about 13 years now.. Is there hope?”
My dear, it is normal for life to feel bleak and dull if you lack the emotional support or emotional fulfillment that eases many of life’s troubles and renews our energy and ability to bear them. Lack of dialogue between spouses, estrangement and long silence is never an easy problem, so it is only natural that you never lose hope of finding a solution. Your husband won’t change overnight, and unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that he will, but you can always try. In many cases, hope and attempts are all we need to get on with life.
The first step always to the solution lies in understanding the reason, you should try to understand the reason for the estrangement and cruelty of the husband. Was he brought up, for example, that a man should not express his feelings? Does he generally have trouble expressing his feelings with others or is this limited to his relationship with you? Did he experience an old emotional trauma that made him fear attachment? He always tries to prove to himself that he is capable of distance and that no one will ever be the weak point of his heart? If you look for reasons, I trust you will be able to deal with them, you have wisely managed your relationship with him all these years.
And if you discover the reason and cannot solve the problem, or if you feel that it is too late to change it, perhaps you should distract your focus from his emotional failure with you, as Dr. Eman Al-Rayes, the family, educational and psychological counselor, advises you to try to compensate for this estrangement by strengthening your relationship with your children, by sharing with them things they love and strengthening your communication With them. She also advises you to strengthen your connection with yourself, learn something new, take up a hobby you love, or keep yourself busy with volunteer work.
She recommends that you bear in mind the fact that your happiness will be completed by yourself and not by others. Do not associate your happiness with the presence or absence of anyone, nor do you connect your dreams, your happiness, or your ambitions except to yourself.
Within the framework of the “Seventh Day” keenness to communicate directly with readers, and to provide various and various services, “The Seventh Day” launched the “Washwasha” service to receive any inquiries or psychological, social or educational problems, provided that the problems are presented to experts and trusted specialists and publish responses via Website and newspaper.
You can contact us through WhatsApp number 01284142493 or e-mail Washwasha@youm7.com or direct link.
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Source : اخبار الاردن