“I am 22 years old, I lost my father at the age of five. I am a single mother but I have two half-brothers from the father. My father married my mother after the death of their mother, and they were adults and married at the time. My mother was affectionate towards them and never treated them as “father times”, on the contrary I relinquished her inheritance from my father to the youngest of them and left her apartment for him to marry in. Despite everything my mother did for them, this was met with hatred and resentment from them. Problems began to appear after I reached high school.

Or maybe it was then that I became aware of what was happening. “My eyes opened” to many small details that I did not understand before, from the mistreatment of my brothers and my exclusion from all their sessions on the pretext that I was young, even though my eldest niece was about my age and they allowed her to share their sessions with them and hear her opinion and ignore me as if I was zero on the north.

Despite that, I held them no grudge or hatred, but I was confused and asked myself why they did this? I felt that my sister hated me because I was superior to her daughter in the study, but what she does not know is that I worked hard to prove to them that I would not be a failure because my mother was illiterate, as I accidentally heard them say behind my back. After I entered the university, the letter started knocking on my door, which made my sister jealous because she wanted them for her daughter, so they started causing me problems and accusing me of bad manners and making me live my worst days.

Now I still live with them in the same house, having to deal with them, laugh in their faces, and obey them without discussion, but from inside I am unable to overcome the psychological pain caused by their treatment of me. I have even reached the point where I do not understand myself, do I love them or hate them? All I know is that I must succeed and prove myself to see the fruits of my mother’s upbringing, I know that I have no chance of failure, I must always succeed, because if I fall, no one will have mercy on me neither me nor my mother.

****

My dear, the family is supposed to be the source of unconditional support and acceptance, and it is the refuge we resort to when the world narrows us down or we face some troubles in it, but this does not always happen, sometimes it is the source of anxiety and fear, and it is natural that this affects negatively We have to, but the positive side is that this teaches us how to be our own sanctuary and support.

What you have been through is not easy and it is normal for you to feel this confusion in your feelings, as Dr. Louay Mohamed Wagdy, a neurosurgeon and psychiatrist, says that it is normal to feel this psychological pain, not only from the treatment of brothers, but also because of the loss of a father at an early age in your life, As for the brothers, it may reduce your confusion and pain by understanding their feelings of rejection. They also lost their mother, who is a symbol for them that cannot be replaced or replaced, so they had feelings of rejection towards their father’s marriage after the departure of their mother, which was reflected in their treatment.

The mother obviously has a lot of common sense and good manners, she treated them well no matter what. It is normal for your feeling of rejection from them to cause negative feelings such as persecution and lack of appreciation, but the positive here is that your psychological defenses so far are still coherent, with evidence that you have not lost the motivation to succeed and that you treat them well, even though you lack social support completely, except for your mother.

I always believe that searching for a solution is half the way, and you have crossed it, you have to continue your persistence, faith, determination and strong motivation for success, and be the source of support for yourself. You should also not expect them to improve in treatment, as this is something that you may not be able to modify and you have to accept unless you have enough psychological capacity and energy to open a frank dialogue with them, tell them everything you feel and turn a new page together.

You have to hurry to get a job, no matter how simple it is, as long as it is honest. This will make you feel more like yourself and help you overcome any negative feelings caused by their treatment of you. The most important step is to conduct a personality assessment with a specialist in a psychiatric clinic, because it is natural that it affects All these circumstances affect your personality, and when you know the results of this assessment, you will be able to know how you have been affected and how to start correcting the matter with correct steps.